Seven deadly sins of retirement

was the topic of today's "Retire Smart" by Humberto and Georgina Cruz (Columbus Dispatch). It's possibly a repeat, but I don't see it on the web. If it comes up, I'll add a link. Here are the points they make:

1. Thinking or saying "I am too old to___________." Obviously, you're always too old for some things (playing dolls, mud pies, dating 16 year olds), but you know they are talking about defeatism here. I did wait too long to join the choir--about 40 years, and my voice was gone, but not my desire.

2. Constantly talking about ailments. Oh yes, and Amen to that. No surgery or ache but my own are interesting! I wrote a fictional story about the Whistle Stop Pot Luck which involves this one. In the story, each dinner guest gets a whistle to blow TWEET when the topic of Age, Health or Weight comes up. These are the three most boring topics that people over 50 discuss.

3. Finding excuses to postpone something. Procrastination. Some of us had this problem from a very young age. Jobs may have kept it in check.

4. Holding grudges. That will not only shorten your days, but make everyone else's seem longer if you talk about who did you wrong when.

5. Becoming intransigent. Clinging to values and beliefs and refusing to consider another viewpoint. Yes! I became a Republican when I was 60. But I have friends who have never considered the possibility that there is another way.

6. Feeling a false sense of entitlement. Don't be rude. Turn off your cell phone and don't talk loudly in restaurants, would be my advice. Also, you aren't the only car on the road.

7. Engaging in home owner association wars. We don't have those here, but we've got excellent management and only 30 units. However, I know people who have had to move. When shopping for a retirement or empty nester home, you'd sure want to check around on that. The by-laws and the escrow account can't tell you that.


If I could add seven pet peeves of my own about retired or nearly retired folks. . .

a) Appearing in public dressed like a slob--leave the sweats, shorts and ratty shoes in the garage or tool shed.

b) Not dressing your age. A 20 year old can wear a mini-skirt, but a 50 year old just looks like she's stepped from a 70s movie.

c) Trying to be the ladies' man or gushy flirt you once thought you were. You're not fooling us.

d) Not keeping up appearances. Even if you never did it before, hire someone to help with the housework or yard work if you don't know what to do. Everyone who visits will appreciate it. After my mother died, Dad hired a person to clean once a month. He had no idea how to do it, and at 86 he wasn't about to learn.

e) Becoming focused totally on the grandchildren. Are you the only person allowed to babysit? They are taking over your best years. We don't get do-overs.

f) Not wearing your hearing aid and/or false teeth if you have them. You'll be able to hear me and I'll be able to understand you. My mother-in-law got dentures when she was in her 40s; I knew her for over 40 years and never saw her without her teeth! My grandmother, who was blind, didn't need a hearing aid until her mid-80s. She thought hearing loss a much worse problem than blindness because it interferred with communication.

g) Talking inappropriately--this is related to the hearing aid--in church, at the theater, movies, concert, etc. If it's not on, you won't realize you are disturbing others. Because of rock music, head phones and ear buds, early deafness is now appearing much earlier than among our parents' and grandparents' generations.

retirement advice
good manners
senior housing
Humberto Cruz